Um yeah, about earlier…..

Ok, so I’ve had some time to think and chill the fuck out and would like to stress that I’m usually a really level-headed person, not prone to freaking out over things that are never, ever going to happen, well very rarely happen.

So, now the crazy fog has lifted and I can see that what happened to my dad was a freak incident and the chances of it happening to me are less than 0.1%, probably less to be perfectly honest, and I would like to apologise for me hysterical out-burst.

Apology accepted?

Good, let’s move on and forget it happened.

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This weekend has been quite good, unfortunately being the idiot I am when we went to do our shopping for the week and also for the BBQ I forgot 1 vital ingredient for the Tandoori chicken I wanted to make, yes, I forgot the chicken. So we had the more traditional burgers and sausages with home-made potato salad, using chives from my very own herb garden, with some nice salad.

Combined with lots, and lots of alcohol, not for me obviously, as I’m still a little bit poorly, so I had tonnes of fun drinking orange juice (plenty of vitamin C) watching everyone else get stupidly drunk.! I’m not bitter, promise! To be perfectly honest I don’t drink all that much, maybe once a month if we go out to dinner and even then I only have one, two at the very most. I can’t remember the last time I was drunk, probably 2 years ago when we went on holiday to Cuba for 2 weeks, it was all inclusive so I took advantage of that, plus they had a really funky cocktail bar and I do love cocktails. Why have 1 shot of alcohol per drink when you can have 5!?!

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N and I are just watching the Godfather III, I totally forgot how much of an abomination it is! I love the book by Mario Puzo and I’ve watched the first two films because N wanted to watch them and he has never read the book and wanted me to explain what was happening. They’re good films, the acting and the actors are amazing, but the third one was a step too far, again the acting is immense, but the story-line is a tad too much to believe.

Urgh, it’s just too much!

That’s all for now, more soon.

Staying positive.

Thanks, to the people who commented on my earlier post, I’m trying to stay positive and am a lot calmer after speaking to my mum and she basically “knocked some sense” into me, and pretty much echoed what Stepfordtart said, my dad had a lot of issues with his health, especially with alcohol, when my brother was born (he’s 22 now) the family doctor basically said to my dad that f he didn’t stop drinking then he’d be in serious trouble and so I’m thinking that, that played a part in his death, but I guess I’ll never know for sure.

At some point in the future I’ll write about what was mentioned earlier today with regard to my relationship with my dad. I guess it’s quite a common story when people’s parents split up and there’s a lot of animosity between the parents in the interim. I never took sides as I got older and understood what happens as relationships deteriorate. I’m not fooling myself that people are on tenterhooks waiting to read about my childhood, but it will be a cathartic experience for myself and will probably be the first time I’ve ‘spoken’ about my feelings in a public place.

We’re a close family, but we’re not ‘touchy-feely’ in the fact that we can talk about what has happened in the past, my mum is very happily re-married now and she and my step-dad have 3 more children and we’re a happy family, but only if we stay away from certain topics, which we do.

So, thank you to both Stepfordtart and Mzbee for you good thoughts and I’ll update with what the doctor says.

Freaking out!

Um, ok, slightly freaking out now!

Trying to stay calm, trying to be rational!

Ok, where to start? As a general rule I’m pretty rational and try to think things through and come to the most logical conclusion, however on this particular occasion I’m struggling to do that.

Four years ago my dad died. It was a complete shock, he wasn’t ill and to make matters worse we weren’t speaking at the time, (long story, some other time) he had cold and flu like symptoms, (Um, check, I have those) he collapsed and the doctors said it was due to over exertion after being sick. (Um, check again!)

Three days later he was dead.

His body just shut down and he died due to multiple organ failure, it took two weeks of prolonged tests to figure out what actually killed him.

To this day I still don’t know what it was that killed him, as the women he was living with at (my mum and dad divorced when I was 7 and I was estranged from him for over 10 years) the time wouldn’t allow me or my brother to attend the post mortem.

So, should I be freaking out?

I’m feeling a little vulnerable and I haven’t said anything to N about it as he’d just freak out even more than I already am.

Does anyone have any advice?, I’m waiting on a doctors appt, but without actually knowing what my dad died from it’s a little difficult to point them in the right direction.

I hate being me sometimes!

I was so excited yesterday looking forward to going to pick up my currency for my holiday, and while I was there in the Bureau de Change in the city centre…….I fainted!

I was so mortified, right in the middle of bloody Thomas Cook! Luckily I had 2 friends from work with me & S caught me before I hit the ground and they both stayed with me while an ambulance was called, I just wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow me.

The paramedic did some cursory tests, blood pressure & blood sugar etc, I even had to have those sticky pad things on my chest to test if my heart was still there, and they said I’d probably just gone back to work too soon after being ill and that the virus was still hanging around in my system and so that I needed to go home and rest.

So I’m sat at home today, bored out of my head watching TV. You know people say it’s great to get a day off work and it is if you’re “pulling a sicky” but if you really feel ill, it’s no fun at all as all you can do it sit about feeling like crap.

Saffi is keeping me company and keeping me warm sleeping on my chest while I’m lying on the couch.

I’m hoping I’ll feel better tomorrow, as I feel pretty rough today. I feel like I just want to sleep and sleep, so I guess that’s what I’m going to do with my fluffy pillow, I’m just hoping she doesn’t miaow in my ear!

Promises, promises!

Bugger, I’ve only been here for one day & it seems I’m already breaking promises I’ve made!

I know I promised to update yesterday, however as dedicated readers will know (takes a minute to pick herself up from the floor after keeling over laughing!) I have been infected with the pestilence and it seems reluctant to bugger off and leave me able to breathe through my nose again, instead poor N is having to put up with me snoring like a Rhinoceros on Rohypnol!

Anyway I digress, I’m quite liking my new home and hopefully this will give me the inspiration to update more often, and with more pictures.

I’m so excited today, as I will be going to purchase my holiday money and the countdown begins, only 83 days and counting til we leave for Disney. N & I have never been before, but my mum and step-dad have been for the last three years and so we’re looking forward to going with them and seeing the kids enjoy it.

N is more excited than all three of the kids put together, when he was younger, about 10 or 11 I think his aunt used to live in Florida and he has still never been to Disneyland and so he is raring to go and I don’t think two weeks will be enough for him, I’m starting to think that putting him in charge of the honeymoon was a bad idea!

We’ve booked tickets for everything, all the theme parks and water parks, as well as Universal and Busch Gardens, they’re not cheap, for both N & I it was over £500 for tickets for the whole 2 weeks. One thing we have booked which I’m looking forward to is the Disney Princess character dining.

Is it wrong for a 25 year old women to be this excited at the prospect of having dinner in Cinderella’s castle!?! We decided to splash out and take my two younger sisters Megan and Kiara for dinner as the princesses are also there and the last few times they’ve been with my mum and step-dad, Kiara has been a little bit too young (she turned five in May) so we think she’ll be able to appreciate it more this year.

We’ve got the extended family coming for a BBQ this weekend, so if you could all think good thoughts so the weather will hopefully stay ok.

I’ve got some a new recipe I want to do:

Tandoori Chicken:

Marinade:

1 tsp ground turmeric
2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground cumin
1 large garlic clove, peeled and finely crushed
3cm knob of fresh root ginger, peeled and finely grated
Juice of ½ lemon
100ml natural yoghurt
Sea salt and black pepper

Mix all the ingrediants together and smear over the chicken (thighs work best, but it’s up to you, I have done it before with whole spatchcocked chickens) leave to marinade for at least 2 hours, but to be honest overnight is best.

Cook in the oven for about an hour at 170C, in a baking pan covered with foil, once cooked, remove from the oven and take off the foil while you light the BBQ, once the coals are ready cook the chicken for approx 10 minutes til it is charred on both sides.
It is a bit of work, but it’s so much better than the Tandoori chicken you can buy in the shops, plus you know there are no horrible artificial colours in there to give it that nice colour.

More soon.

LannyLee

The new Meandering Ramblings

I promise tomorrow i’ll post something more interesting, however to get to know me you can head over to my archives at Diaryland and read my old entries.

I’ve only been there for 2 months, but already feel the need to move to a different site as Diaryland wasn’t really what I wanted or needed, so here I am.

More tomorrow – promise!

LannyLee